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Jess Muller’s Instagram feed would have you thinking she lives in Paradise. And for once it appears the ‘gram hasn’t lied! Home is Proserpine, a part of the Whitsunday region that borders country and coast giving the best of both worlds for her and hubby Matthew to raise their young son Jackson, 1. While life looks and sounds pretty perfect for this adorable family of three, it’s not without the same sorts of struggles and heartache so many other families will recognise: fertility issues, mum guilt, and toddler tantrums.
Tell us about life in Paradise "We live in Proserpine which is part of the Whitsunday region. If you've flown to the Whitsundays you've probably driven past Proserpine on your way to Airlie Beach. We honestly live in such a beautiful place. It is the perfect mix between country and coastal living, with beaches close by, the islands a short boat ride away as well as cane fields and cattle yards. I absolutely love this area it has such a laid back, slow paced feel."
Did your plans to start a family go as you hoped? "Matthew and I got married in 2018 and started trying for a family not long after returning from our honeymoon. I've always been a massive kid person so was very excited at the thought of having kids of my own. After trying to conceive for 12 months, we booked into a fertility clinic to see if there could be any issues with us falling pregnant. We spoke about our course of action and our doctor gave us another 6 months of trying naturally before booking back in to take the next step. We were so lucky to fall pregnant naturally before the 6 months were up. All in all it took us around 18 months to fall pregnant, which doesn't sound like very long in the scheme of things, but when you're living with the disappointment and heartbreak month after month, 18 month feels like forever. The day I found out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life."
Do you hope for more children? "I would absolutely love a little brother or sister for Jackson and our ultimate number is 2. Matthew and I both had a brother and sister and I love the bond that we both have with our siblings and I wish that for Jackson."
What's a week like in your life? Was having a baby a big change or did he just slot in? "At the moment our day to day life is pretty cruisy. I work Monday - Wednesday with Jackson going to his grandparents house on a Monday and daycare for the other 2 days. For the remaining few days we have swimming down the beach and then we try to catch up with our friends at least once during those days. We also see our families and try to get outside and play when we can. We have been really lucky, Jackson has slipped so easily into our lives. Although the biggest change has to be all the extra thought that goes into everything. Okay, so we are going to the beach, I need to make sure we have nappies, hats, unsunglasses, sunscreen, spare clothes, togs, towels, snacks, toys etc etc, whereas before we'd just grab togs and a towel and be on our way!"
Aside from mothering, how else do you spend your time? "After Jackson turned 1 I started back at the office doing 3 days a week. I am a qualified accountant and completed my degree in 2014 whilst working full time in a local accounting firm. My passions are anything creative. I love arts, crafts, DIY's and have recently started dabbling in sensory trays for Jackson, although I think I may have more fun than him. I also love the outdoors, particularly the beach which is my happy place."
How hard was it returning to work after having a baby? "Before having Jackson I worked full-time as a qualified accountant in a local accounting firm. I started working there full-time straight out of high school and completed my degree externally. I had been at our firm for 11 years before I began my maternity leave (officially 12 months). My husband and I had talked about maternity leave and whether or not I'd go back prior to having Jackson and we agreed that I would take 12 months off before going back to work 3 days a week. During my time off Jackson and I would go and visit the ladies at the office and I offered to come in once a fortnight to help with the workload, when Matthew was away at work and my parents could babysit (they live 3 minutes walk from the office). I'm not going to lie, starting back was hard. I spent most of my days questioning whether or not I'd made the right decision and sending mum messages asking how he was doing. Jackson had just started solids and I was still breastfeeding, so I would go to my parents at lunch time to breastfeed him before going back to work. I kept up the 1 day a fortnight until the start of this year where I changed to one day a week. Once Jackson turned 1 I started back 3 days a week, with Jackson going to my parents house 1 day and day care for the other 2. Day care was another struggle for me, but we were really lucky to get into family day care. "I struggled because we had never left Jackson with anyone other than family before and I found it so hard to let go and trust someone else to look after him how I would. Lucky for me we have the most beautiful, caring mum and she sends me updates throughout the day along with pictures to me know he's having fun. I live for those messages.
Do you have mum guilt? "I still get mum guilt and wish I were at home with Jackson rather than working, but it's definitely getting easier now that we are into a routine. It also helps that Jackson absolutely loves his days with his grandparent and at day care playing with his friends, so I know I'm doing the right thing for him. Work is just a place for me to use my brain, have hot coffees and go to the bathroom in peace and when I pick Jackson up he's always so happy to see me and life gets so much better."
Favourite part about being a mother? “I love almost everything about being a mother but my favourite part has to be the smiles, cuddles and kisses Jackson give me.”
Least favourite? “Tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants (being put down while mum tries to do something like make food or go for a shower).”
Have you had any struggles as a newish mum? How did you get through them? "To be honest, overall we've gotten through this first year without too many struggles. We did have a few issues breastfeeding at the beginning but resolved that within the first month. Jackson wasn't much of a sleeper as a baby either, so I just lived in a constant state of tired. But we are so lucky to be surrounded by so many beautiful, helpful, caring people. Both Matthew and I have our families close by and they have been a massive help. I've also formed so many new friendships since having Jackson and catching up for coffee and a play date has to be one of my favourite things to do."
What do you feel you’ve done well so far as a mum? "This is definitely a hard one. I think I've done well with keeping him alive and happy in general. I'm constantly thinking of new things to do with him to help him learn and grow and I'm hopefully teaching him to grow into a kind, caring little boy."
What kind of me-time do you get? “Anything crafty as well as reading a book. I try to squeeze some of this into every day, even if it's just 15 minutes while Jackson naps.”
How do you “do it all?” “I don't know if it's possible for me to do it all. Something usually has to give. If I want a clean, tidy house, I give up my 'me' time. If I was to do something for myself, I give up a clean house. Or, if I want a clean house and some me time, I give up on sleep (because there's always coffee to help with the tiredness).”
What do you wish for your child/ren? “Love and happiness.”
What are you looking forward to as you move into the next stage of motherhood/life? “Travelling. I'm so excited to get out and about and show Jackson this beautiful world we live in.”
Best advice for new mums? “Don't be afraid to ask for help or accept help when it's offered.”
Heritage Mum + me Bundle, from $72.95: “My favourite Bedhead products would have to be matching Heritage hats for mum and bub. I love the linen material and reversible styles.
Swim legionnaire in Boats, $32.95 “A must have for the warmer months.”
Toddler bucket in Bee, $32.95 “For everyday use – I love its soft, stretchy fabric and gorgeous patterns (the bee print has to be an all-time favourite of mine).
